Lukewarm
by AaronEmilyLove2005
Summary: Hotch and Prentiss are forced to take a journey that they never expected. Will they stand by each other or will the situation tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**Lukewarm **

**It was early morning at the bullpen as Hotch noticed through his office blinds that everyone, except for Emily, had arrived. He knew that everyone had a tough time dealing with the last case, especially Emily. The unsub was killing women in their thirties who also were brunettes. After killing them, he cut them into pieces, saving their heads. During the take down, the team had interrupted the unsub's final moments with his last victim. Emily and Morgan had entered a room where the last victim was lying on the floor in pieces. Emily had always been good at compartmentalizing, but the sight that was before her and Morgan that day, caused Emily to be sick and she vomited as she tried to run from the room. On the plane flight home, Hotch had spoken to her briefly, making sure she was alright. She told him, she'd just had an off day and that she would be fine. As he glanced out of his window again, he saw Emily arrive, walking to her desk. She sat down at the desk and opened her desk drawer, quickly removing something from a bag and putting it in her jacket pocket, then putting the bag in the drawer, shutting it as she looked around the bullpen. He continued to watch her as she made a phone call on her cellphone. She looked upset and he assumed maybe she'd had a nightmare or was just having a bad morning. He saw her begin to stand up and he wanted to catch her before she got to the conference room. **

"**Emily" he said rushing up to her as she headed for the restrooms instead. **

"**Hotch….Hi, good morning" she said, avoiding his eyes. **

"**Good morning. I just wanted to see how you were doing after yesterday's case." he stated as he followed her out of the main doors and down the hallway. **

"**I'm fine, Hotch, really. Let's just try and forget about it please." she suggested with somewhat of a rude tone, making it clear to Hotch that she didn't want to talk right now. **

"**Emily" he said while taking a hold of her arm at the elbow, holding it gently. "I was only checking on you, that's all. I was concerned about you. Morgan said you were very upset."**

"**Yeah, well, I'm fine" she said pulling loose from his grasp and laying her hand over her coat pocket. "I'll be in the conference room in a minute" as she turned toward the ladies restroom.**

**Hotch felt that she was definitely pushing him away and he didn't like it at all. "Emily, are we really gonna do this? Am I really gonna have to walk around on eggshells all day, every day, while you ignore me?" he said raising his voice slightly. **

**Emily turned to face him. "Could you keep your voice down?" she asked, looking around at other people in the hallway. **

**Sighing, he spoke in a softer voice. "Emily, you've been acting this way for a while. We can't just keep acting like nothing happened and we can't let it affect our jobs." he told her firmly.**

**Emily looked him in the eyes for the first time that morning. "You're exactly right, Hotch, we can't act like nothing happened but maybe we can just forget that it did." she said, now looking away from him. **

"**Is that what you want….to forget it?" he asked, his breath hitching. "Look at me Emily" he pleaded as she eventually locked eyes with him again, but said nothing. "Can you do that? If you think you can and that's what you want, then that's the way it will be." he lashed out before turning away and walking back through the BAU doors. Emily just stood there with tears in her eyes as she watched him walk away. She took in a deep shaky breath and let it out slowly before turning to enter the restroom. **

**Hotch walked through the bullpen, heading to his office to get files he had forgotten during his apprehension concerning Emily. As he walked by Emily's desk, he noticed something on the floor, under her chair. He glanced around the bullpen as he walked closer to her chair. He picked up the unfamiliar paper and unfolded it. As he looked down, reading the paper, his heart nearly stopped and his hands began to shake. He felt that his knees were about to buckle as he stood in shock and spoke lowly to himself.**

"**Oh my god….she's pregnant." **


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Haley and Jack do not exist.

"Oh my god…she's pregnant."

Hotch stood by Emily's desk, shocked and now even more worried about Emily as he read the directions pamphlet for a pregnancy test that she had obviously dropped out of the box. He knew now why Emily had been so secretive about putting the bag in the drawer. He also knew why she had been so short with him in the hallway. He didn't know if he should wait outside the ladies restroom door or leave Emily alone for now, but he had to talk to her and he needed to know if the baby was his. He didn't want to accuse her of sleeping around but he and she both were consenting adults and they had the right to have any type of relationship with anyone that they chose.

The night they had spent together was unplanned, to say the least. Hotch had gone to her apartment to check on her after the home invasion and murders case in Denver initiated by an unsub team. While gathering up files after the case, Emily had talked to Hotch and suggested taking Carrie, an orphaned victim from the case, home with her. He had a feeling then, that there was something more to her suggestion that met the eye.

Hotch walked slowly to his office, still stunned, as he remembered knocking on her apartment door that same night. When she answered the door, she wasn't really surprised to see Hotch standing there. He was well known for checking up on his agents after a case that affected them personally.

(Flashback)

She gave him a small smile as she took in his appearance. He had changed into a black V-neck t-shirt and jeans. Emily wasn't used to seeing Hotch in this attire and she had to admit to herself that the relaxed look on Hotch was appealing. "Hey Hotch" she said, sighing from the exhausting day. "Come in."

Hotch stepped through the doorway and into the kitchen area, noticing a bottle of wine and half empty glass on the bar. "So….I was just stopping by to see how you're doing."

Emily turned to face him. "I'm good Hotch. No need to be concerned." she said kindly as he gave her a look of skepticism. "Really Hotch, I'm fine" she added, sitting down on the couch. "Would you like to sit down for a minute?"

"Sure, I have a few minutes." He sat on her couch, observing her apartment and how nicely she had it decorated. "This is really a nice place Emily." he said, thinking about the first time he'd been to her home. That visit was rushed and consisted only of his persuasion for Emily to accompany him to Milwaukee after Strauss' attempt to ruin Hotch and everything he had worked for. He was so astonished by the fact that Emily had taken up for him and even left the BAU to save his job, so her interior décor was the farthest thing from his mind. He sat on the couch beside Emily, thinking of his choice of words, then he spoke gently. "Emily, the conversation we had at the department wasn't exactly a normal conversation coming from you. You're idea to take Carrie home to live with you was very surprising to me." he told her.

Emily looked up at Hotch, her eyes boring a hole through him and he felt the atmosphere change drastically. "Hotch, it's over and done and I'd rather not discuss it anymore." she replied in a shaky voice while lowering her gaze, which Hotch detected, telling him that something was on her mind. "Would you like some wine?"

Feeling a little frustrated and a little like he was prying, he briefly postponed the conversation that he clearly was wishing to continue. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by what I said. I've just never seen that look in your eyes and I worry about you, you know? I worry about all of you. I'm not as big of a monster as everyone thinks that I am." he said with a grin, being rewarded with a giggle from Emily.

"I don't think you're a monster and no one on the team does. We understand that you have a tough job. I think you do a great job Hotch. I guess I've never really told you that, but I do, and I respect you more than you think I do." she told him honestly.

"Well thank god because I was really beginning to think I may need an antidote for breakfast every morning." he joked, showing his dimples.

Another giggle of Emily's quickly turned into a laugh, as she began to feel the effects from, by this time, the third glass of wine she'd had since she had been home. Hotch smiled bigger as he witnessed her laugh.

"So you never answered me. Wine?" she asked again.

"Um…yeah, I guess I can have a glass before I go." he replied, then watching her walk into the kitchen. He thought she was absolutely beautiful as she poured his wine and those lines that he shouldn't cross, for the benefit of their friendship and their jobs, were becoming blurry.

Emily handed Hotch his glass of wine and sat back down beside him, sitting the bottle on the coffee table. She slowly turned toward him and took in a deep breath and let it out before speaking. "I had an abortion when I was fifteen."

"Emily, you don't have to…." he assured her before she interrupted.

"No, I want to. You told me I could come to you about anything, right?" she asked.

"Yes….yes I did….but you didn't come to me. I came here; honestly, to see if you were okay but now I've turned it into an interrogation. I'm sorry." he added.

"Don't be. Maybe I just needed a little push to fully accept what I already knew; that you'd never judge me." she said before taking another sip and lifting the bottle, offering another glass of wine to Hotch.

"You're right, I never would." he told her confidently as he looked down at the bottle. He knew he could drive having only two glasses of wine and he wanted to talk to Emily if she needed him. He held up his glass. "Sure, why not."

Emily poured Hotch another glass and then one for herself. She sat the bottle down and continued. "To make a long story short, I had an abortion at fifteen when I lived in Italy. I had a really good friend take me to the clinic. You know my mother. There was no way in hell that I could tell her. So…my best friend took me to have everything taken care of and I sat in my room and cried for three days straight, telling my mom that I was sick. I felt so empty, even at that age. I guess it doesn't matter what age you are; you still have that connection." she said as tears formed in her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Emily" he said, looking in her eyes, and then placing his hand on hers.

"It's okay. I'm alright. It's just that some cases get to me that's all; some more than others and this one hit hard. It wasn't just an 'out of the blue' idea to take in Carrie. I've thought about adopting before. I'm just not sure if I want to take on that life alone. I feel confident about it, I just don't know if I want to raise a child alone, by choice."

"I understand" he said softly. "And I understand that you couldn't let your mom know, but where was the father during all this?" he asked carefully.

"He was wild. He was my age and you know how boys are at that age. He was more concerned with his friends and his ego than he was about getting me knocked up." she replied, with a tone that informed Hotch that she hadn't completely let go of her disappointment in the father.

"Hey, don't say it like that. The term 'knocked up' is so harsh. This was a very traumatic thing to go through at your age and I hate that he wasn't there for you as much as a teenager could be. I hate that you couldn't go to your parents….and I hate…." he stalled.

"And you hate what?" she asked him curiously.

"I hate that I wasn't there….for you." he staggered out.

Emily wasn't sure how to take his comment. She didn't know if he'd meant that he hated that he wasn't there as her friend or as the father. "What….what do you mean?" she asked nervously.

Hotch didn't feel like using his words. He felt like maybe his words wouldn't be near enough to tell her how he felt about her. He took her wine glass from her hand and sat both of their glasses on the table. Emily couldn't function. She was so buzzed that her brain wouldn't tell her muscles to move; to get up off of the couch and stop what she assumed was about to happen and if she was correct, would she be able to stop it?

Hotch gazed hard into her eyes and raised his hand to her face as his mind spun, trying to decide if he should change everything at this very moment that was between them, or get up and walk out the door. As he wiped a tear from her face, he stopped listening to his conscience and leaned in to kiss her.

A/N Don't hate ;-) I will update soon. Thank you all for the reviews. They are appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Hotch gazed hard into her eyes and raised his hand to her face as his mind spun, trying to decide if he should change everything at this very moment that was between them, or get up and walk out the door. As he wiped a tear from her face, he stopped listening to his conscience and leaned in to kiss her.

Emily raised her hand and gently pushed him back. "Hotch…I can't….you know we shouldn't do this" she told him, keeping pressure on his toned chest, staring in his eyes.

She felt his breath in her face as he sighed, tightening his mouth and then licking his bottom lip. He reached up and ran his fingers through her hair. Emily turned her head but Hotch wasn't about to let her escape this moment that he felt they both had wanted for a long time but were just too damn stubborn to admit to each other or themselves. He had seen lingering looks from her and he had been told by Rossi about many of Emily's looks that he had apparently missed. He moved his hand to her face and held it there, leaving her no choice but to look at him. "I want you to look in my eyes and tell me that you want me to leave." he said as his heart pounded out of his chest. He knew he couldn't speak for her but if she didn't feel the same and didn't want this as much as he did, then why was she still sitting there?

Emily felt his other hand at her waist as he pulled her body toward his, now gently fisting his hand in her hair. It was apparent to Hotch that when he stopped pulling her forward, she was still moving closer, telling him that she was surrendering to him. There were only inches between them when Emily stated the obvious. "I think I've had too much to drink" she admitted, not being able to think of any other excuse to break away from this.

"Don't fight this Emily. The alcohol has nothing to do with it. You and I are the only people here. No one else….just us. Don't think."

Their faces were only inches apart and the closer their lips became, the quicker all of the thoughts about their jobs, friendship and reputations completely flew out the window. She didn't want him to leave and she knew there was no point in fighting it anymore, so she let gravity take over. As soon as their lips touched, Hotch fell into animalistic mode and Emily followed soon after. They both began to gasp for breath as their tongues moved against each other, finally tasting that sweet kiss they'd both craved for what seemed like forever.

"Oh god" was the only words Emily could let out as Hotch ran his hand to the base of her spine and pulled her ass toward him while pushing her back onto the couch with his body pressed hard against her, still fighting her mouth for control. He kissed her neck roughly and ran his hand down to her hip, then sliding it behind her to cup her ass as he ground his erection against her center. He felt the heat from her immediately and that, along with the scent of her skin, was making him completely lose his patience. Emily felt how hard he was because of her and it thrilled her to know that she had that effect on him. Emily raked her short nails down his back and unleashed a low growl from Hotch. She lowered her hands to his ass and pulled him as close to her body as she could.

Hotch took both of her hands and moved them above her head, that was now propped on the arm rest. "Don't move" he said as she thrust up against him, expressing to him that she was probably aching for him like he'd always wanted her to. He kissed her left temple, taking in the scent of her hair, making him even harder. He kissed his way down her neck, moving to her breasts that were barely covered by her pink tank top. He ran his fingers along the seam of the bottom of her shirt, barely touching her now exposed skin at her waist, causing her to tremble at the feel of his fingers on her skin. The moment he felt her skin on his fingertips, he decided they were moving way too slow. "This has to go…...now" he said firmly. He jerked her shirt up over her breasts, bringing into view her pink laced bra. As he pushed her shirt up the length of her arms and jerked it over her hands, his hand crashed into a lamp on the end table, sending it to the floor.

Emily didn't even react to the crash on the floor; if anything, it turned her own more that he was being this forward with her. She watched Hotch as he moved his legs to straddle her, and then moved his eyes over her body. He took ahold of her hips and squeezed them. His hands were so big and she was amazed how much of her skin they could cover at one moment. With every squeeze of her hips, her pussy ached more. She looked up in his eyes and saw what she thought was passion, but was convinced that it was only a hunger for release. She needed this release as much as he did, but she told herself that this meant more to her than it ever would to him.

Hotch's breath was taken from him as he observed Emily's body and the way her hair laid over her bare shoulders and particularly the longest wavy strands that trailed the way to her breasts. "You're so beautiful Emily", his voice now coarse. "It can't be like this. Not here." He reluctantly pushed himself off of her body and stood beside the couch, holding his hand out to her. Emily took his hand and stood in front of him as he moved his other hand to her back, feeling goose bumps appear under his fingers. When she looked up at him and parted her lips slightly, Hotch was positive he knew the words that were about to leave her lips. He was wrong. Emily was merely taking in a much needed breath, being as she was the only one in the room that knew what she was about to do.

Emily raised her hands to his waist and began to unbuckle his belt. She raised an eyebrow at him, almost as if she was asking for his permission.

"Emily…You don't ….." he began.

"I want to" she spoke quickly, hoping he'd hear the honesty in her voice. Hotch stayed silent, unable to do anything besides give her whatever she wanted. She never took her eyes off of him as she pulled the belt out of the loops and threw it on the couch. When she pulled at the snap of his jeans, she heard him inhale sharply and felt his hands shudder on her hips. She smirked at him as she unzipped his jeans slowly. She never would have thought that she could make Aaron Hotchner react this way and she loved it.

Hotch couldn't believe this was happening after all of the dreams he'd had in the last year. Being on the receiving end of Emily's smirk, Hotch had concluded that maybe she'd had a dream or two about this moment as well. Emily sank to her knees while taking his pants and boxer briefs down his legs, provoking Hotch to moan as his briefs brushed painfully against his cock. She was beautiful on her knees in front of him, and her apparent need to do this, made him want to be inside her even more. "Emily, please…." he groaned.

Emily reveled in the fact that Hotch was begging her and being as intoxicated as she was, she decided that she wanted to hear him say it again. "What is it?" she teased him, in a tone that made her sound clueless.

Hotch knew that she'd heard him and he wasn't going to beg when he knew how much she wanted to do it. So, instead of begging, his famous control stepped in and he grabbed his cock in his left hand and her hair in the other, guiding himself to her lips. "Put me in your mouth. Emily…..do it." he more or less ordered her. Hotch's tone of voice drove Emily to fill her mouth with his cock without delay, which created a loud groan from Hotch as he felt his hand fall to his hip and the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat. "Fuck…." he said before losing his breath and throwing his head back, peering, through hooded eyes, at the ceiling. Emily moved her hand to the base of his cock and stroked him roughly while sucking the tip, letting it move across the roof of her mouth. Emily moaned as she sucked him wildly, producing a vibration around his cock, causing him to buck into her mouth, almost too roughly. After three more strokes of her wet mouth hugging him, he couldn't take it anymore. He reached down and grabbed her wrist, pulling himself out of her warm mouth, and up to her feet to meet his gaze. "Take me to your bedroom" he told her as he pulled up his pants.

Emily guided him to her room and didn't hesitate until she'd reached the bed. She turned Hotch to sit on the edge of the bed to face her. She stood in front of him and slowly undressed herself until she was completely naked. Hotch sat there like a young boy seeing an adult magazine for the first time. His brain functioned enough to kick off his shoes and as he reached to take off his shirt, Emily stopped him. "I wanna do that myself" she said seductively, and grabbed the hem of his shirt, slowly lifting it from his body as he raised his arms.

Hotch stood up and Emily's hands went straight to his pants. He pushed her hands away. "This is taking way too long and I've waited long enough." he stated. "We both have." he added, as he pushed his pants and underwear down in one sweep and kicked them aside on the floor. Not waiting a second later, he pushed Emily gently onto the bed and covered her body with his. The moment their naked bodies touched, both Hotch and Emily lost all control and began to claw at each other's bodies. Hotch dragged his tongue agonizingly slow until it met one of her hard nipples. He licked and sucked it hard enough to bring a cry from Emily, and then licked over it again to relieve the pain. He moved his mouth to give her other breast the same torturous, but rewarding attention, then flicking all over it making it difficult for Emily to breathe. Hotch towered over her, looking in her eyes as he gripped his cock in his hand while pushing her legs somewhat roughly apart and burying himself inside of her completely. As he filled her, Emily scratched his back hard enough to where she was sure would leave marks, but the attack didn't even phase Hotch; he was too busy soaking in the satisfaction of finally being inside of her. Her soaking wet inner muscles were squeezing him so tight and every following stroke in and out of her was better than the last. Emily had never felt so full in her life and she was aching, feeling herself quickly reaching climax. She lowered her hands to his ass, pushing him harder into her, telling Hotch that she liked it rough. He reached down and pulled one leg up higher with his forearm and pounded into her. The harder he pushed, the harder she pulled. He felt her become tighter around him; something he didn't even think was possible. "Emily, you feel so amazing. Cum for me…..let go." Emily moaned loudly, not caring how loud, as she came around him, milking him and making it impossible for him to hold himself back. "Oh….god Em…." he screamed as he came inside her, ending his cry with a long lengthy deep groan. His body shook uncontrollably as he emptied himself inside of her. They both laid there together, sweat causing their bodies to slide against each other, trying to make up for the loss of breath they both were experiencing. Both being exhausted, they laid together, both quiet for some time until Hotch spoke softly as he held her. "I hate to ask this and I know it's a great time to be asking, but are you on the pill or anything like that?" he asked thoughtfully.

"Yes I am", she assured him.

(End Flashback)


	4. Chapter 4

Both being exhausted, they laid together, both quiet for some time until Hotch spoke softly as he held her. "I hate to ask this and I know it's a great time to be asking, but are you on the pill or anything like that?" he asked thoughtfully.

"Yes I am", she assured him.

(End Flashback)

Emily's hands were shaking as she entered the bathroom stall and pulled a pregnancy test stick from her jacket pocket where she'd hidden it earlier. She was still distraught by her phone conversation with her doctor while at her desk. '_Oh my god, this can't be happening. The doctor's results have to be wrong. I'm on the pill and I've taken every dose. Fuck!' _she thought to herself. She had already taken a pregnancy test at home the day before, which was positive, then immediately made an appointment for the next morning with her doctor. She requested that her doctor do a blood test, saying that she didn't want to take another stick test. Already being late for work, she didn't have time to wait on the test results, so she received the positive results while at her desk that morning. She went into the stall and proceeded to take yet another test, hoping somehow to prove her doctor wrong. As she laid the stick down on the flattest surface she could find in the stall, she lost what small breakfast she had eaten that morning. Her nerves were shot and the only thing she could think about was what effect this was going to have on the baby's father. She knew that he cared about what was best for her but what she worried about was whether he would feel the same if her dilemma involved him this drastically. She washed her hands and crept slowly back to the stall hoping that by some miracle, the result would be different this time. As she looked at the test, she saw the two blue lines once again. She was pregnant. She decided there was no denying it anymore as she sank to the floor in tears.

Hotch refused to sit and relive the last moments that night with Emily before leaving at 4:00 the following morning. As he looked back at her lying in the bed naked, with the sheet barely covering her ass, he felt guilty; like he had used her for his own gratification; used her when she was so vulnerable. Now, after the way Emily had been acting around him, since then, he was afraid that she was thinking along the same lines. They had spoken only once about that night and had decided that it was best to just accept that it was an unexpected act of both of theirs and that it wouldn't affect their jobs and that it wouldn't happen again. Hotch thought that Emily was satisfied with their decision but she had become more distant from him each day and even more so in the last week. He made his way to the conference room where everyone was seated except Emily. He didn't notice, until sitting down, that Emily wasn't there.

"Where's Emily?" Reid asked curiously.

"She was at her desk earlier" J.J. replied, "so I know she's here."

Hotch stood back up. "I'll find her. You guys get started."

Hotch walked down the bullpen ramp glancing around for any sight of Emily. He didn't see her so he walked through the BAU doors. He headed toward the bathroom in the hallway where he'd last seen her. He tapped on the door before opening the door slightly. "Prentiss?" he said rather loudly, but heard no reply and assumed nobody was in the restroom. As he let the door fall back closed, he heard a muffled sound. He opened the door again, stepping in and spotting Emily's shoes, which he had noticed her wearing earlier, from under the stall. He pushed the stall door open, finding Emily on the floor crying. "Emily, are you alright? What's wrong?" he asked, knowing well what was bothering her.

"Hotch, please leave. I'm fine. I will be there in a minute okay? Please just go." she said in a shaky voice.

After what he'd found in the floor at her chair, he wasn't leaving with just an 'I'm fine' for a reply. He pushed the stall door all the way open so that he could squat down beside her. He reached under her arm and pulled gently. "Come on, talk to me Emily." he begged. Emily stood up, wiping the tears from her face. Hotch stepped back, letting her out of the stall.

Emily walked over to the sink and patted her face with a damp towel. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror in front of her, also seeing Hotch's reflection as well. "You do know this is the ladies restroom right?" she joked lightly. She turned to face him, looking at the floor and then up to meet his eyes. "Hotch…..I'm okay" she assured him. "I'm good, can we just go?"

"Emily, I found this on the floor next to your desk chair" he told her, holding out the instructions to the pregnancy test.

Emily kept her head down and didn't know if she had the strength or nerve to look up into his eyes. He raised his hand to her chin and lifted her face to him. "Are you pregnant?" he asked thoughtfully.

Emily stepped into the stall retrieving the test and stepped back out to face Hotch. She handed him the stick with the plastic cover over the tip.

Hotch saw the two blue lines and wasn't sure of what he was looking at. "What exactly does this mean?" he asked, his voice trembling. "What am I looking at here?"

"It means it's positive. I'm pregnant." she told him, causing her to cry again.

"Emily" he spoke softly, and she knew the question that was coming and wasn't looking forward to giving him the answer. He looked in her big brown eyes, now streaming with tears. "Is it my child?

She looked at him and took in a deep breath and finally revealed the answer that was either going to hurt him or maybe relieve him.

"I don't know."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: In earlier author notes, I mentioned that Haley and Jack didn't exist. The reason I did that was because I wanted to write in some of the "Identity" case in this story and that case was before Hotch's divorce from her and I didn't want to make it look like he was cheating on Haley with Emily. When I wrote this chapter, I had forgotten (blame it on the alcohol lol) that little Jack wasn't in Hotch's life, so that part has been revised. Thank you! Sorry for the confusion.

"Emily" he spoke softly, and she knew the question that was coming and wasn't looking forward to giving him the answer. He looked in her big brown eyes, now streaming with tears. "Is it my child?

She looked at him and took in a deep breath and finally revealed the answer that was either going to hurt him or maybe relieve him.

"I don't know." She whispered.

Emily was definitely wrong in thinking that Hotch would be relieved. He was hurt. "You don't know?" he asked with a hint of jealousy.

"Hotch…" she attempted, but couldn't think enough to organize all of the thoughts in her head at the moment.

"Emily, look…I know what happened between us wasn't exactly planned but what you're telling me is that you've been seeing someone else, if I'm not mistaken….and that's your prerogative. We aren't exactly married." he validated. "Or even dating for that matter." he added.

"Hotch, it's a lot more complicated than that. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way but I can't do this right now. I'm sure the team is waiting and we both need to get in there." she reminded him.

"You're right, we do, but I want to discuss this later Emily." he assured her, putting the pregnancy test back in her hand.

"Yeah, okay we will." she replied, tucking the test away in her pocket.

"Are you okay?" he asked, moving his hand to her face, wiping her tears away.

His large hands on her face and the sensitive look in his eyes made her want to just fall in his arms, where she could feel safe; where she would know that everything would be okay, but Hotch didn't know every detail that their future conversation would consist of. She took a deep breath in and exhaled nervously. "I'm okay, I'm good. We'll talk later okay? I promise."

"Okay" he agreed, hoping she wouldn't try to run from the talk later. "Let's go."

"Okay, just give me a minute and I'll be there." she told him.

"Alright" he replied, moving his hand to the back of her head, pulling her closer to him, kissing her on the forehead and then leaving the restroom.

Emily pulled herself together and applied a little powder, using the compact from her jacket pocket. She knew a restroom wasn't the best place to discuss this with Hotch, even more so, the FBI building. She had always dreamed about the day she'd find out she was pregnant and how exciting it would be to tell the father, but at this time that wasn't the case and it infuriated her. After calming herself as much as possible, she headed back to the conference room to meet the others.

Hotch walked back to the conference room slowly, practically in a daze after hearing Emily's confirmation that she was pregnant. He had a sick feeling in his stomach, hearing her uncertainty about who the father was. He didn't need a child right now, knowing he wouldn't have much time to spend with he or she, but those thoughts escaped him when he imagined Emily holding their child in her arms. If this was their child, he would find a way to make it work. J.J. found the time, so he would as well. As he entered the conference room, he spoke immediately to refrain anyone from asking questions about Emily that he couldn't answer without making the other members of the team suspicious. "Emily is not feeling well. She will join us soon." he said quickly. Luckily, everyone had dived into the case and didn't think much of it.

Looking at his watch, Hotch knew there wasn't much time to go over the case. "You guys can brief us on the plane. We need to get going. Wheels up in ten." he ordered, as Emily came through the door. Almost every one stood up, gathering their files and heading out the door, leaving Hotch, Garcia and Emily in the room.

Garcia approached Emily. "So, what's up with you girl?" she asked in a playful voice, just as Emily felt a wave of nausea and laid her hand over her stomach. "Ohh no, no, no….you're not pregs are you?"

Hotch overheard Garcia's remark and immediately interrupted. "Garcia, I need you on this case with us." he told her. "Please get your things and meet us on the plane."

"Oh, you know me boss, I'm always ready." she said to him, then turning to Emily.

"Garcia" he repeated in a stern tone.

Garcia patted Emily on the shoulder. "Hope you feel better Em. Maybe you can get some rest on the flight." she suggested, exiting the room, her mind still floating with the talk she needed to have with Emily.

Hotch walked over to Emily and touched her arm. "You're sure you don't wanna sit this one out?"

"I'm fine. I actually feel a little better right now." she told him, though he wasn't so sure it was the truth. "I need to get my things." she said, pulling her arm away from him gently and turning to head for her desk, not staying long enough for Hotch to reply.

Hotch watched her walk away, thinking of nothing else except the fact that she may be pregnant with his child. It was eating him up inside that he may not be the father and if he wasn't, who the hell was.

The team boarded the plane and Emily knew she didn't need to avoid Hotch, especially now that he knew her secret, but she couldn't sit beside him right now, so she quickly sat beside Reid. Hotch didn't want to smother her, so he sat on the couch seat across from her while they went over the case.

Emily snickered at Reid as he drew with his markers on a large map. "You know, I could have gotten you a coloring book at the airport." she joked.

"I'm creating a topographical map." he informed her with his genius tone. "It helps us to narrow down where the unsub may live or where he may have been keeping, torturing and then presumably killing these women."

There was another woman missing, also fitting the description of the unsub's type and the team had reason to believe she was still alive. She, and her car, became missing from a grocery store parking lot while her husband and son were inside. All of the victims he chose were young, Caucasian brunette women. The fact that Emily also fit the unsub's type was already weighing heavy on Hotch's mind.

"The dental records are on the way" Garcia said as she sat in her seat enjoying the flight so much more than the others. This was all new for Garcia and she was gleaming.

"Prentiss and I will go meet the husband" Hotch said, looking at Emily, receiving an appropriate look from her, but immune to the fact that she honestly hoped to be paired with someone else on the team for this case.

"I can walk the other abduction sites." Morgan added.

"Everybody else set up base and work on geographical profiles, establish contact with the locals and tread carefully." he said, glancing at Emily, then to the others.

The case was coming to a close when Emily realized where maybe the unsub was taking his victims; a place he called his 'ideal land'. The land was at Black Eagle Peak which was very high and dangerous ground. Hotch gave the order to leave for the possible take down while beginning to hand out two-way radios. "Let's keep channel twenty-three open. I'll go with the sheriff." he said as he hesitated. He looked at Emily, deciding who he wanted in the field. "Morgan, you and Rossi stay at the bottom of the mountain and try to distract the unsub. Prentiss, stay here and work on finding us anything else we can use." he told her, realizing her confusion before she even spoke. Rossi and Morgan grabbed their vests and heading to the SUV.

As Hotch picked up his vest and headed out, Emily stopped him. "What are you doing? I've been out there on this case all day long and now you want me to stay here? What else could we possibly find out that we don't already know?" she asked firmly.

While Reid was going through more files, Hotch pulled Emily aside and spoke quietly. "Emily, no matter if the child you're carrying is mine or not, I'm not letting you go on some mountain to take down an unsub that is torturing and killing brunette women." he told her with his best glare.

"Hotch, in case you have forgotten, I am an FBI agent." she reminded him harshly. "I'm capable of taking care of myself." she added, glaring back at him.

"Yes, I know that you are, and right now you are a pregnant FBI agent and Black Eagle Peak is nowhere for a pregnant woman to be." he informed her.

"I'm not even that far along Hotch" she replied. "I have been in a lot more dangerous situations, which if I remember correctly, you were in charge of sending me into."

Along with the stress from the rest of the day, Emily's last remark upset Hotch and as much as he wanted to lash out at her, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He leaned in even closer to her and whispered. "Well Emily, we don't really know how far along you are do we?" he said.

Hotch's words hurt her more than she cared to admit and those same words made her decision to throw in the towel and not fight the obvious. She wasn't going to change his mind and she knew it. "No, we don't" she said frigidly, though she knew he was right.

Hotch looked down at her, waiting for her to meet his eyes. When she did he told her thoughtfully. "I know you're upset with me but you're gonna have to give me some time here. Both of our mornings were flipped upside down today. I don't want to be harsh with you but I am not letting you go. Just stay here for me, please." he told her, making her feel as if she had a choice, knowing that she didn't.

She didn't like it, but she figured it was the least she could do when he was just trying to take care of her, not even knowing if the child was his or not. He cared about her and that much, to her, was evident. "Alright" she replied, achieving a small grin from Hotch as he put on his vest and aimed toward the police station doors.

Emily knew she had thrown Hotch for a loop that morning and as she tried to imagine being in his shoes, she made the decision that she needed to tell him the truth as soon as they arrived back home.


	6. Chapter 6

Emily knew she had thrown Hotch for a loop that morning and as she tried to imagine being on his side, she made the decision that she needed to tell him the truth as soon as they arrived back home.

After landing back in Virginia, Emily headed straight home, exhausted mentally and physically. Alone during the walk to their cars, she had invited Hotch over to her apartment to talk. Her large garden tub, surrounded by candles, was calling her name. She was completely drained, just from the day itself, not to mention losing her breakfast, and later her lunch in the plane restroom. Her nerves had the best of her and she needed to use that long hot bath to collect her thoughts.

While running her bath, she called her doctor and apologized for being so rude to him during their last phone conversation. She was adamant about taking her birth control but after her talk with her doctor, she realized her mistake in not using back up protection during sex while on antibiotics. She had been prescribed amoxicillin for the infection which had set up in the cut on her forehead she'd received during the case in Milwaukee when she'd been hit by a 2x4. She knew that she had been irresponsible and because of that irresponsibility, she had caused havoc for herself and Hotch. When she lowered herself into the hot water, her body immediately reacted, relaxing for the first time that day. She laid back for a while, listening to nothing but the tiny bubbles bursting and Hotch's voice that was continuously running through her mind. She sat up and pulled her knees up to her chin as tears rolled down her cheeks. She still couldn't believe all of this was happening and she had to face the fact that the situation that she'd recently gotten herself into, could have definitely produced everything that had happened today. She knew she wasn't being fair to Hotch, confusing him and worrying him, when he may not have to worry about being the father at all. However, when she did explain her reason for being unsure about the father, would he be upset with her for being so irresponsible that night or would he understand? She needed him to understand how torn she was the night they had slept together. The case with Carrie had taken a toll on her and had brought back a lot of memories of her abortion. She felt that she was powerless to stop what happened between her and Hotch, not only because of her feelings for him but also just because she needed him; she needed someone to make her feel special and loved for so many reasons that he didn't know. She knew she had been in the bathtub for a while, considering that the water was now lukewarm. She sat there feeling lukewarm herself, unsure of how she felt. Numb was the only word that came to her mind. She didn't want to hurt Hotch more than she assumed she already had, judging by his reaction in the restroom at work, but keeping the truth inside was consuming her and whether or not he understood, it was only fair to him. She stepped out of the tub and dried herself off and wrapped the towel around her body, glancing in the large floor length mirror on the wall. She walked over to the mirror and dropped the towel as she turned to view the side of her body and lowering her hand to her belly. As she stood there slowly rubbing her hand over her belly, she felt calm for the first time since she'd taken the first pregnancy test, knowing without a doubt that no matter what, she would raise this child the best way she knew how and that he or she would receive all the love and care that was deserved. As much as her mind whirled with the cons of the whole situation, she now had that connection with her child. "I'm gonna be here for you sweetie, I promise." she said aloud to herself and the innocent one growing inside of her.

Hotch's drive home had gone by quicker than ever before. He barely even remembered getting there with his mind overloading with thoughts of Emily and his possibly unborn child. He was extremely nervous for the first time in his life just thinking about being a father. He always thought one day he would like to have children, he'd just expected to maybe find someone and fall in love, and then maybe think about having kids. He'd found someone, and he'd fell in love, but because of their jobs getting in the way, he never found the moment or the nerve to tell Emily how he felt about her. He wanted it all with her and he had decided that whether the child she was carrying was his or not, he was going to tell her how he had dreamed of her and how he had craved in his heart for Emily to be the one to save him. He took a quick shower, shaved and applied his AXE body spray to his well-formed body. He dressed himself in his black jeans and a white t-shirt. He ran his fingers through his wet hair, grabbed his watch, phone and keys and left for Emily's apartment.

Emily's stereo was playing lowly as she poured herself a glass of juice, wishing she could have something a little stronger at this point. She was having a difficult time pouring her drink with shaky hands. Hotch was supposed to be at her place in fifteen minutes and she was apprehensive about their discussion. She had thought about all of the words she would say to him and none sounded refined enough to make this easier on the both of them. She knew she had to just come out and say it; it was the only way she was going to get it out. She straightened up the living room area, fluffing the throw pillows and re-arranging them. She'd decided to leave her shoes off, leaving her with a red cotton V-neck and a pair of dark blue jeans that were covering a pink satin bra laced at the top of her breasts. A thin pink string curved around each of her hips on the panties that complimented the bra very well. Emily knew she wouldn't have this figure for much longer, because she knew that she wasn't fifteen anymore and she still carried guilt for making the decision she did years ago. She was having this baby. After everything that had happened in the last two months, she didn't know why she was blessed with a child right now, at this time in her life, but she knew there was some reason why.

The sound of five knocks on her front door caused her to jump. She walked to the door and looked through the peephole; something she had made a good habit of doing. She saw Hotch, standing as tall as usual, however he wasn't in a suit this time, which Emily would never complain about.

She opened the door and Hotch smiled sweetly and raised his eyebrows. "Hi Emily" he said, stepping inside and reaching out to hand her a small black kitten while holding a large bag in the other.

"Oh it's so cute" she told him with a big smile, petting the kitten's head. "Did you find it outside?" she asked, closing the door.

"Umm, no…no" he told her, stalling. "He's yours Emily. A lady in my building was giving them away and my Dad told me long ago….When a girl is sad, give her a kitten. It always makes them smile." he revealed, showing his dimples. "And see… it worked." he said, not believing himself that he'd just told her that story.

"It's really sweet of you but I can't handle a kitten, Hotch, especially right now" she said kindly, kicking herself mentally for bringing up their situation already.

Hotch could tell by the look on her face that she wished she hadn't said what she did, so he tried to lighten the mood. "What's so hard about taking care of a cat? They don't hog the covers like a dog may, and they poop in a box….a box you'll have to empty periodically, but in a box." he joked. He really wanted her to keep the kitten, if it was just to make her smile or if it was one of the few nice memories he'd had with his father that he wanted to relive.

"But I don't have a box" she assured him, not sure if she wanted to take on this task anyway.

"He's got everything he needs in this bag. There's litter, toys, food and of course, a box." he showed her as he pulled it out of the bag.

Emily looked at the kitten and smiled again, not being able to say no when it meowed while looking at her. "Okay, little man, let's go" she told the kitten as she took the bag from Hotch. "Hotch, if this doesn't work out, he's coming to your place." she informed him. "I will be right back. There's beer in the fridge if you want one."

"Okay, yeah I will, thanks." he told her, as he walked around the living room. As he looked around the apartment, he thought about the last time he was there and smiled when he glanced at the couch, thinking about the kiss they had shared before making love in her bedroom, and just maybe where they had conceived their child. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind quickly as Emily came back into the room.

"Well, it doesn't take a cat long to settle in. He's already found his special spot on the chair in my room. Did you find the beer?" she asked as she moved to sit on the couch.

"I didn't look yet." he told her, not wanting to admit that his mind had taken him somewhere else for a moment. "But, no, no, I'll get it" he said when he saw Emily begin to stand. "You rest." he said willingly as he walked to the kitchen.

Emily thought the gesture was sweet of Hotch, knowing that he was referring to her needing to rest for the baby's sake. He got a beer from the refrigerator and joined her on the couch. "Hotch, I don't wanna drag this out, so I'm just going to tell you everything that's been going on." she said.

"Okay" he replied nervously, having no idea what she was going to tell him but knowing that it was hard for her, whatever it was, just by the wearisome look on her face. "I'm listening."

"First of all, I want to tell you that I was honest with you when I told you that I was on birth control. I was…..but I was also taking antibiotics at the time for the cut on my forehead." she told him as she saw a confused look appear from him. "You're supposed to use back up protection and I didn't. I'm sorry; I know it's irresponsible and stupid. My doctor told me that I wouldn't believe how many women it has happened to, but that doesn't prevent it from being a thoughtless action of mine." she admitted.

"Emily, I'm not upset with you about it. What can I say to you about it? I didn't even ask you about protection until after…." his words trailing, not wanting to bring it up if she didn't want him to. "Can I ask you something?" he asked considerately.

"Of course you can" she replied, taking in a breath.

"I assume you've been with someone else and that's your business. I also assume that you didn't use back up protection with the other person either if you're concerned about me not being the father. This would also mean that you slept with him around the time you slept with me, correct?" he asked carefully.

"Yes, but it's more complicated than that Hotch." she said honestly.

"Is it? I mean how much more complicated could it be Emily?" he asked with a hint of his jealousy shining through once again. "I'm sorry" he said, "Please explain it to me." he told her kindly, feeling like an idiot.

"Bear with me okay Hotch?" she asked dearly, looking in his eyes, now reaching for his hand, which he gave to her immediately.

"Okay" he said, "Go ahead."

"Three days after you and I made love, I was…. raped." she told him slowly.

"What?" he nearly yelled, the color of his face turning pale. "And you didn't think you should tell someone?" he asked, standing up, pulling his hand from hers.

"I couldn't Hotch, you don't understand" she said as she watched him start to pace the floor. "I'm an FBI agent. Do you know how vulnerable and weak that would make me look? I couldn't walk in the office every day, knowing that everyone knew and feel sorry for me. I didn't want that. I just wanted to forget it all." she confessed.

Hotch walked back to the couch and sat down beside Emily and looked deep in her eyes. "Did you really think we would treat you that way Emily? We could have helped you find this bastard if you had let us." he said firmly. "So, I guess you never went to a hospital or anything? I'm not coming down on you, I'm just asking."

"No, I didn't. I came home." she told him, lowering her head.

"Where did this happen?" he asked, now holding her hand again.

"It happened at Joe's Bar and Grill that I go…..well, used to go to very often. There was a guy there that night almost every time I was there. I was leaving and found that someone had slashed two of my tires, which I assume now was his doing. He came up to me in the parking lot and was very kind and helpful that and I honestly didn't catch on, like I should have as a profiler." she said as tears started to form in her eyes. "I help hunt serial killers all day and I fell for one of the oldest ruses in the book."

Hotch rubbed his hand over her arm. "This is not your fault Emily, you know this." he said sympathetically. "Don't you?"

"Yes…..I know it's not. I know that no means no." she added, wiping a tear from her cheek, and then looking up at Hotch with pain in her eyes. "I hate that I had to tell you all of this but you have a right to know why I'm not sure about the baby's father."

"So this happened in the car?" he asked.

"It was in the alley beside the bar." she told him, seeing his look of anger, produced by his thoughts about Emily being raped outside, on a cold hard ground, though being raped anywhere was bad enough. "It was over quick, okay? You would think I should have been able to kick his ass but he was just too strong. Look, I really don't want to get into the details, if that's alright. It's done and over. I can't do anything about it now." she said. "All the evidence is gone, so even if I took him in, I couldn't prove it." she told him, watching his facial expression change dramatically in front of her.

"You _know_ him?" he asked frantically, backing away a little.

"Like I said, he came in there often. Look, It really doesn't matter now Hotch. Can we just not talk about it anymore and just face what you and I have to deal with? The rape is one thing and this baby is another. If I became pregnant because of the rape, it will not change my decision about keeping the baby. That asshole will never know about this. So, I've decided that if he is the father, I will tell everyone the truth, instead of lying to them with some bullshit story about how I got pregnant. If the baby is yours, then we will work it out. If you don't want a part of this, I will understand but I will keep the child regardless." she told him firmly.

Hotch sat there watching Emily as she showed him just how strong of a person she was, while she felt that she was so weak. "Emily, I want to be in this child's life if I'm the father, that much I know." he told her, knowing that he'd stand by her even if it wasn't his child. He didn't want to scare her by telling her that fact at this time, so he kept it to himself.

"What you're telling me right now means a lot to me and I would want you to be in the baby's life. I know this is something we don't want to face if you are the father, but what about our jobs?" she asked with a concerned tone.

"We will just cross that bridge when we come to it okay? You don't need any more stress on you." he said knowing that she hadn't felt good all day.

"Alright" she replied.

There was one thing that Hotch couldn't keep to himself and that was his anger toward the man who raped her. There was no way that he was letting him get away with what he'd done to Emily. "You said you've seen this guy a lot….do you know his name?" he asked, knowing she probably didn't.

"Umm yeah, well only his first name but….." she told him before he interrupted quickly.

"What is his name Emily?" he asked strongly.

"Hotch, forget it please! God, I just want to forget it!" she said loudly, standing up and then walking toward the kitchen.

Hotch knew he had upset her but he wasn't letting this go if there was a possibility that he could find him. He followed her into the kitchen and walk up to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, but I can't just let this go and you know me well enough to know that I won't."

"I know, but what's the point in it? Nothing you do to him is going to make the fact that I was raped disappear." she said truthfully.

"I know that but I'm asking you to please tell me." he begged as the kitten came into the kitchen. Hotch bent over to pick up the kitten. Emily watched as he petted tiny kitten with his large hand. She thought about how gentle he was with the kitten contrary to the violence she was sure Hotch would use on her attacker if he ever found him. He looked from the kitten to Emily. "Emily….please give me the name." he begged once again.

Emily knew he wasn't giving up and though she knew she shouldn't, she gave him the information he wanted. "All I ever heard anyone call him is Garrett. I assumed it was a first name but I guess it could be a last name instead." she said. "Hotch, please, don't do anything crazy."

"Emily….this man deserves to be taught a lesson, otherwise he is completely getting away with what he did to you and I can't allow that." he said frankly. "I care very much for you" he said, raising his hand to her cheek, rubbing it lightly.

"I know you do" she said as she took the kitten from him, breaking the contact of his hand from her face. She loved the touch of his hand on her skin, but the two of them had so much to be concerned about and she didn't want to confuse things even more. "I guess I need to think of a name for him, huh?" she asked, showing Hotch how much she really liked the kitten.

"Yeah, good luck with that" he joked, then his face losing its beam as he looked at his watch. "I guess I should go, it's late and we've got work early tomorrow." he reminded her.

"Okay, yeah, I'm beat and I'm sure you are too." she expected.

"Yeah, kind of. I hope you and the little man have a good night" he said smiling at her. "Try to eat something. You two need it" he added thoughtfully.

"I will try" she said. "We will talk again soon alright? I won't avoid you at work I promise." she assured him with a smile.

"Alright" he said, trusting her words. "Goodnight Emily" he said leaning to kiss her on the cheek, making Emily's heart race.

"Goodnight Hotch" she said sweetly. "Thank you for coming over and thank you for the kitten. It was really sweet of you."

"Your welcome" he said as he headed for the door. He opened the door and walked through the doorway, turning around to look at Emily one more time as she held her new little friend. "See you in the morning" he said and smiled at her again before walking toward the exit of her building.

"Okay" Emily almost whispered before shutting the door and taking the kitten to her bedroom, as she started to think of a good name for him.

Hotch walked out of the apartment building doors and got into his car. Sitting there for a few minutes, he thought about the talk he and Emily just had and the more he thought about what had happened to her, the angrier he became. He sent a quick text from his cell and pulled away from Emily's apartment building, heading for Joe's Bar and Grill.

The little kitten was spoiled within a matter of seconds after Hotch left, when Emily placed him on her bed while she dressed for bed. The kitten played with a tiny ball of yarn, knocking it off of the bed. "Uh-oh bud" Emily said to him, bending over to pick up the ball. As she stood back up, she looked out of her bedroom window and saw Hotch pulling away, wondering what had taken him so long to leave. Just then she heard the notification of a text message from her phone. She smiled as Hotch's number appeared on the screen and smiled even bigger when she read the one worded text.

"_Sergio" _


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Emily won't be in this chapter and it may be odd to say, but I missed her. ;) She will be in the next chapter, when she will learn of Hotch's little excursion after he left her apartment.

The little kitten was spoiled within a matter of seconds after Hotch left, when Emily placed him on her bed while she dressed for bed. The kitten played with a tiny ball of yarn, knocking it off of the bed. "Uh-oh bud" Emily said to him, bending over to pick up the ball. As she stood back up, she looked out of her bedroom window and saw Hotch pulling away, wondering what had taken him so long to leave. Just then she heard the notification of a text message from her phone. She smiled as Hotch's number appeared on the screen and smiled even bigger when she read the one worded text.

"_Sergio" _

Hotch pulled in at Joe's Bar & Grill, when instead, he should have been going home to get some sleep before work the next morning. He was fuming at the thought of what Emily had gone through the night she was raped. She didn't want to get into details with him and he completely understood that. It broke his heart to know that this Garrett character had scarred the memory of his night with Emily and one way, or another; he was going to pay for it. He really didn't know just how much that night meant to Emily, but he knew it meant everything to him. He skimmed the parking lot as he parked and stepped out of the car. As he entered the bar, he noticed that most everyone had left and he expected that his luck in finding Garrett was not looking too good. Hotch sat at the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey. As the warm liquid hit the back of his throat, he almost felt it combine with the blood in his veins, which were filled with rage. He thought that Emily was a beautiful person, inside and out, and for that beauty to be marked like it had been, it wouldn't be surprising for one to expect that Garrett would one day pay for what he had done.

As he finished his shot, he hoped the bartender could point him in the direction that he desperately needed to go. He was going to handle this on his own, partly because he knew all evidence was gone and the possibility of being able to pin this on Garrett was unlikely. He also knew that Emily didn't want anyone to know about her attack unless she had to, and Hotch was standing by her through this. "So…. I was supposed to meet a friend here, Garrett. You know him?" Hotch asked, using his skills from his job.

"Yeah I know him. He's over there playing pool in the red button up." the bartender answered, pointing to Hotch's left, as he wiped the bar.

Leaving a tip on the bar, Hotch stood up and turned toward his target. "Well, I didn't see his car in the parking lot" he said glaring at Garrett. "Is he still driving that truck? he asked.

"No, he got rid of that old thing. He has a Camero now. Nice convertible." he said, taking the tip from the bar.

Giving the bartender a thank you and walking toward the pool table, Hotch approached Garrett, who was chalking the pool stick tip. "Excuse me, do you own a Camero convertible?" Hotch asked, receiving a confused look from Garrett.

"Uh yeah, I do, why?" he asked, observing Hotch's clothing, assuring himself he wasn't in any trouble with the law, which wasn't unusual for him.

"I think you may have my car blocked out there. You mind going out with me to check?" Hotch said, hoping to lure him to the parking lot. "I really need to get going." he added, hoping Garrett hadn't noticed exactly when he came in.

"Sure…yeah." he said, laying his pool stick on the table, tempting Hotch to pick it up and take it outside with him. "Don't let anybody play my game Roger! I'll be right back." he told a friend, having no clue what he was in for in the next few minutes. Hotch allowed the approximately 5'9" man to walk out first, giving him a couple of minutes to think while walking behind him.

"You come to the bar a lot?" Hotch asked him, his fists clenching already.

"Yeah, all the time. They have some great chicks that come in sometimes. Saturday night….that's the night to be here." he said as he slowed his walking.

"I'll have to remember that" Hotch told him, holding himself back until the right moment.

Garrett approached his convertible, which luckily was at the end of the alley that Emily had spoken of. "So which car is yours man?" he asked, turning to face Hotch, but instead received a hard punch to the face. Falling against the wall, wiping the blood from his lip, Garrett slowly stood. "What the hell man?" he asked as Hotch grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands and literally dragged him down the alley. "Get your damn hands off of me!" he yelled attempting to get out of Hotch's grip, kicking his legs and losing one shoe.

Hotch pulled his body up from the street when he had gotten a few feet into the alley and slammed him up against the brick wall. "Shut the fuck up!" Hotch told him firmly, but not loud enough to attract attention. He looked around, making sure there were no bystanders, as he held Garrett fiercely against the wall. Slamming his body against the wall again, he began his version of an interrogation. "You don't talk, you listen." he ordered him.

"Dude, I don't know what your problem is…." Garrett began before receiving another blow, this time to the stomach. He bent over groaning for a moment before coming back up with an upper-cut to Hotch's chin. Hotch struck Garrett with his right fist and then his left, forcing more blood from Garrett's mouth. Garrett plunged into Hotch, pushing him to the brick wall on the other side of the alley, delivering a solid blow to his cheek. Hotch could only have visions of Emily being abused as his eyes fell over the area. It made him sick to his stomach but yet filled him with adrenaline that Garrett was going to acquire the effects of.

Hotch raised both of his hands to Garrett's head, turning his back to the wall and then bashing his head to the wall. Garrett was stunned and stood still, slightly slumping against the wall. "Is this where you bring the chicks that come here?" Garrett tried to move and Hotch pressed his forearm to his throat roughly. "Is this where you rape them?" he asked forcefully.

Trying to breathe, Garrett spoke in a gravelly voice. "Look, dude, I don't know what the hell you're talking about, and you need to let go of me!" he yelled as Hotch just took on a tighter grip.

"I will let go of you when I am done with you" Hotch told him as he gave him another jab in the ribs and then grabbing his face in one hand, intimidating Garrett as he stared at him with fury. "This is where you raped my friend, and possibly got her pregnant." he informed him, gripping his face so tightly that he was afraid he may break the bones in his face.

"What?" Garrett asked through his gritted teeth.

"You're gonna pay for what you did to her." he told him, frightening Garrett even more.

"Look man….okay, I've had sex with a couple of girls in this alley, but I haven't raped anyone and I haven't gotten anyone pregnant. You got the wrong dude." he told him, unsuccessfully making a believer out of Hotch.

Grabbing two of Garrett's fingers in his hand, he drove further. "Don't you fucking lie to me!" he said as he pulled his fingers backward. "Tell me the truth or I swear to God, I will break your fingers right now."

"Oww god man! Alright listen, I may have gone a little too far, alright?" he stated, his voice quivering. "But I hadn't got no chick pregnant. I had a vasectomy five years ago."

A/N: I apologize for the wait and the cliffhanger. I swear, I don't mean for so many chapters to have cliffhangers, they have just worked out that way. The fight was harder to write than I thought it would be and I'm not that happy with it. I really wanted to take you guys to the alley, but I'm not sure if I succeeded so please let me know. Thank you for your reviews and thank you to the guest's reviews that I can't reply to. I hope to have another chapter up tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

Grabbing two of Garrett's fingers in his hand, he drove further. "Don't you fucking lie to me!" he said as he pulled his fingers backward. "Tell me the truth or I swear to God, I will break your fingers right now."

"Oww god man! Alright listen, I may have gone a little too far, alright?" he stated, his voice quivering. "But I hadn't got no chick pregnant. I had a vasectomy five years ago."

Early the next morning, as each member of the team arrived at work one by one, Hotch sat in his office chair thinking about the realization that Garrett had brought to him; that he was the father of Emily's child. He had thought about the moment when he'd find out the truth and the words he'd hear from Emily's lips. He never expected that he'd find out the way he did and was even more stunned with the fact that he was the one that would be telling her instead. He saw Emily walking through the bullpen to her desk and then laying her things on her desk. He had just gotten a call from J.J. about a new case, so he stepped to his office doorway and let the others know. "Guys, we have a case. Be in the conference room in ten." he told them as he turned quickly back into the office, shielding his face from everyone's view. He knew they were going to see the effects of one of the two lucky punches that Garrett had gotten in during Hotch's hesitation. He had fought with as much strength as possible while fighting with his emotions for Emily and what she had experienced. When he arrived home that night, he made a cold compress for his upper cheek, had a stiff drink or two and then finally went to bed, only to dream about Emily being raped in the alley and him not being able to save her. She was screaming for him and the faster he ran toward her the further from her he appeared to be. He woke up abruptly, his pillow wet from sweat, to feel his heart racing. He tried to eat his breakfast of oatmeal and orange juice but just didn't have a strong enough stomach for it and eventually lost his breakfast just as Emily had. It was as if he was experiencing morning sickness as a percentage of expectant fathers do.

Emily felt as satisfied as possible with the talk she and Hotch had as she fell asleep with her new kitten, now named Sergio. She had texted Hotch back and agreed that Sergio was the perfect name. She felt like Hotch understood her situation but she wasn't a hundred percent positive. It was important to her that he understood her reasons for not reporting the rape. She didn't want to be treated like a victim, she just wanted to try to forget or at least have a grip on what had happened and not let it tear her down and most importantly, blur the beautiful night she had with Hotch. She may have told Hotch that she wanted to forget that night, but she knew that after the fight between her head and her heart, her head had definitely been defeated. She couldn't hide how she felt anymore, no matter who the father was. Emily wanted nothing more than for Hotch to be the father, especially since he'd told her that he wanted to be in the child's life, if he was indeed the father. She looked up and saw Hotch walking toward the conference room, once again blocking her view of his cheek, trying to postpone the inevitable.

Hotch's trip to the conference room was interrupted by Rossi and Hotch knew the inevitable had begun. "What the hell happened to you?" Rossi asked. "You didn't have that shiner yesterday, so let's hear it." he pushed.

"Let's not." Hotch replied beginning to walk closer to his destination.

"That humiliating for you, Aaron? You didn't get your ass kicked did you?" he teased.

"No Dave, I didn't. Can we just drop it please? I will tell everyone at the same time. I'd rather not allow you to torture me for longer than I can avoid." Hotch told him sarcastically.

"Must have been a hard fall out of bed." he pressed, receiving a glare from Hotch.

"Dave", Hotch said, raising his voice, throwing him a look of aggravation.

"Hey, I'm just saying…." Rossi continued until Hotch stopped him as they approached the conference room door, noticing the rest of the team waiting.

"Well, just don't." Hotch replied, walking first through the doorway and sitting down in one of the empty chairs, which sat straight across from Emily. He knew that if Rossi hadn't stopped him on the bullpen ramp, he would have gotten in the room soon enough to be able to avoid facing Emily for a little while longer.

Emily saw Hotch's bruised cheek and the small cut under his chin as soon as he walked in the door. She immediately knew that he had not gone straight home last night and she was kicking herself mentally for thinking that he would. She had seen his anger when she told him about Garrett but as late as it was when Hotch left, she assumed he was exhausted and that he'd gone home. She looked at Hotch as JJ handed out the files to the new case. His eyes avoided her still until Morgan spoke up, already drilling Hotch to explain his black eye. "Damn Hotch, what the hell happened?" he asked, looking at the others wondering if they already knew the answer.

"Alright" Hotch said, looking at everyone in the room besides Emily. "I was out last night, witnessed a guy attacking a woman, and as I was about to confront him, he got in a punch or two before I detained him." he lied, finally looking at Emily, knowing that she knew exactly where he had been.

"Well good job Sir!" Garcia shrieked. "The jerk deserved it." she added boldly, as Hotch's eyes scanned everyone's reaction, hoping to have satisfied everyone's curiosity.

Hotch gazed back at Emily. "Yes, he did." he replied to Garcia. "Let's get started please." he ordered, steering the subject elsewhere.

After the team finished the briefing, Hotch walked immediately to his office and shut the door. The case was in Virginia, so they would be able to do most of their work from the office. This gave Hotch some time to think about what he was going to say to Emily. He really didn't want to tell her at the office, but he knew if she found out that he didn't tell her immediately, she would be upset. He didn't want to wake her last night and tell her. It was extremely late and she needed her rest. He didn't even turn on the light when entering his office and after stepping through the door, he closed his blinds, noticing Emily looking up at him as he did so. By the time he had walked to his desk chair and sat down, his cellphone vibrated. He looked at the screen seeing a text from Emily.

_Hotch, we need to talk. I don't know what went on last night. You're avoiding me and you're scaring me. Please call me to your office so you can tell me what's going on. I think it will look a lot less suspicious if you would. Please._

_Emily_

Hotch didn't want or mean to scare her, he just didn't know how to tell her the information that she assumed she'd have to wait months to find out. He knew she would be relieved to find out and that so much stress would be taken off of her, but he still didn't know how she would feel about having a child with him. He gathered his words quickly and sent Emily a text back.

_You're right Emily, we do need to talk. I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry. I will tell you everything, I promise. I will call you up in a minute._

_Hotch_

Emily felt a little better as she received Hotch's text. She was dealing with some nausea and his actions this morning weren't helping. She continued working on the file she had laid out on her desk, while waiting for Hotch's cue.

While writing down information for the case, Reid walked up to her desk. "Hey Emily, are you feeling…" he began to ask as Emily nearly jumped out of her seat.

"Reid! You scared the hell out of me." she told him in an alarmed voice.

"I'm so sorry Emily." he told her apologetically, setting a cup of coffee on her desk, containing the ingredients she'd always liked. "I was just wondering how you were feeling today."

"I'm…..I'm…" she tried to say before she got up quickly, grabbing her small wastebasket near her desk, once again emptying the contents of her stomach as Reid ran to the kitchenette.

Hotch heard the commotion from his office and opened his door to find Emily leaning over the trash can, holding her hair back from her face. Hotch walked quickly down the ramp steps to Emily's desk. "Here, let me help you" he told her, removing her hair from her hands, holding it back with his own. "Are you okay Emily? C'mon, I will help you to the bathroom." he suggested, as Reid came over with a wet cloth and put it in Emily's hand. Hotch took the cloth from her hand and as he got down on one knee, he placed the cloth on her forehead and held it there.

"It's okay Hotch, I think I'm done." she told him hopefully. "Thank you" she said as she looked in his eyes, then diverting her eyes to his cheek and then to Reid. "And thank you Reid. The gesture was really sweet but you've got to get that coffee out of here." she said in a weak voice.

"You don't want coffee?" Reid asked shocked. "Wow, talk about odds! Those odds are…." he rambled until Hotch looked up at him from the floor with a stare.

"Reid, not now please. I'll take care of this. Please tell Morgan to get his files and go with you to interview the priest." he kindly ordered him. He didn't mean to be rude to Reid; he knew he was only trying to help, but he knew it wouldn't take much for Reid to figure out what was going on. It was hard for Hotch to hide how much he cared for Emily, especially now knowing that he was the father of her child. "Thank you Reid." He told him as Reid picked up his satchel to leave.

"Yeah sure. Emily, I hope you feel better" he said with a small smile. "Two days in a row…..may be the flu." he indicated, catching another look from Hotch, telling him that he needed to be on his way. "Take care Emily."

"I will, thanks Reid." Emily told him, her head still down as the waves of nausea calmed.

As Reid walked away, Emily put her hand over Hotch's, pulling the cloth away from her head. "I'm okay….someone is going to see Hotch." she said, scanning the bullpen to see if anyone was paying attention to the disturbance at her desk.

"I don't care Emily" he said sweetly. "Are you taking any medicine to help with this nausea?"

"Yeah, I've got some Phenergan that I've been taking. The doctor called it in for me and said it should be helping soon." she said as Hotch stood back up. "I will just have to tough it out until it does."

"I'm sending you home Emily" he told her in an indisputable tone.

"Hotch, I don't need to go home. You can't keep me in a shell just because I'm pregnant." she said, raising her voice a little too loud as Morgan walked up from behind them, hearing Emily's last words.

"Emily", Morgan said, startling Hotch and Emily both as they turned around to face him. "You're pregnant? And you didn't tell anyone?" he asked in a hurtful tone.

Hotch and Emily were so caught up in their turmoil that they had completely forgotten that Hotch told Reid to tell Morgan to get the files he needed for the interview. Hotch took Morgan by the arm gently, forcing him to take quite a few steps back away from Emily. "Morgan, you just need to give her some time, alright. This has hit her hard. I'm asking you not to let anyone else know this until Emily is ready. No one." he told him with his look of authority.

Emily could hear Hotch's deep voice steering Morgan away from them, though Hotch didn't realize it was loud enough for her to understand. She was so taken by the fact that Hotch cared so much for her and to sit there and watch him take up for her like that just because she wasn't ready for the others to know, made her love him even more than she already did. She wanted to get up and talk to Morgan, but the nausea prevented her from it. Morgan had already heard the words from her own lips, so there was no use in denying it.

Morgan looked over at Emily, hoping she would talk to him but Hotch wasn't allowing it right now and he began to put the pieces together. Looking back at Hotch, he asked the obvious question. "Hotch, why is it that you knew about this and no one else did?" he asked suspiciously.

"Morgan this issue is not your business" Hotch growled, stepping even closer to him.

"And how is it your business Hotch?" Morgan said, throwing Hotch's words back at him. "Are you telling me that you're the father?" he asked hastily, reciprocating Hotch's stare.

Hotch was limited in this discussion way too much for his own liking. He wanted to tell Morgan he was the father because he was so in awe by the fact that he was. In his heart, Hotch wished he was the father as he stood beside Emily's desk while looking at the instruction booklet from the pregnancy test. He couldn't tell her how much he wanted the baby to be his or how much he loved her; she was going through enough as it was and he just couldn't put one more thing on her mind. But when he had finally gotten to bed after his talk with Emily, he wondered that maybe if he had told her, that it could change her whole outlook on everything. He knew that everyone was going to find out about Emily's pregnancy and eventually that Hotch was the father, but he, of course, planned on Emily being the first person he would tell. If he lied to Morgan now, also making Emily a culprit, they would both have to deal with it later on top of the fact that Morgan would wonder why Hotch lied at all, possibly causing the rape to surface. As Hotch stood there face to face with Morgan, his heart raced, feeling Emily's stare at the both of them. He turned and looked at Emily with tears in his eyes, quickly trying to blink them away before turning back to Morgan.

When Hotch still didn't reply, Morgan asked again. "Hotch….are you the father of her baby?"

"Yes….I'm the father." Hotch replied, hearing Emily gasp.


	9. Chapter 9

When Hotch still didn't reply, Morgan asked again. "Hotch….are you the father of her baby?"

"Yes….I'm the father." Hotch replied, hearing Emily gasp.

"What?" Morgan replied harshly. "You're serious?"

Standing up slowly, Emily decided to try and help Hotch dig himself out of the hole he had gotten himself in, considering that he had just stood up for not only her, but also her child. She felt so much love for him, knowing he was claiming to be the father to prevent Morgan or anyone else from knowing about the rape.

"Yes Morgan, he's serious." Emily told him as she walked up, almost standing between the two men.

Morgan, not giving anyone a chance to explain, was furious at Hotch. He looked at him as he clenched his fists. "Man, how could you let this happen? How could you be so irresponsible?" he asked infuriated.

Morgan was pushing Hotch too far and Emily knew it by the look on his face. "Morgan, lay off." Hotch told him, as he moved between Morgan and Emily. "This is between Emily and I" he stated coldly.

"I can't believe this" Morgan said, still shocked.

"Believe it Morgan. It happened and what's done is done. Don't blame this on Hotch. It's my irresponsibility that got us into this situation." Emily told him, leaving him confused. "Please, just go on with Reid and we will talk about this later okay? I'm sorry I haven't said anything but I just wasn't ready yet." she said honestly. "Please keep this to yourself Derek."

Taking Emily's word, Morgan gave in and stepped back. "Okay, yeah I will. Are you alright?" he asked uneasy about the whole situation.

"It's just morning sickness. I'll be fine." she told him, as Hotch finally stepped away from Morgan.

"Alright", Morgan said as he looked at both of them, sending Hotch a little less of such a heated stare. "Take care of her man."

"I will Morgan" Hotch replied in a more pleasant tone, still upset with the way Morgan had reacted, knowing it was only putting more stress on Emily.

As Morgan took his files from his desk and headed through the BAU doors, Hotch turned to Emily and released a sigh of relief. "I'm so sorry Emily. I didn't mean for you to find out this way. I was going to call you up to the office, but then you got sick and….." he said before Emily looked at him wide-eyed and cut in.

"What?" she said, looking up at him, shaking her head, becoming confused. "What are you saying?"

Hotch realized at that moment that it wasn't going to be easy explaining to her how he knew he was the father. "Emily, let's just go to my office. I really didn't want to do this here" he said agitated by Morgan's intrusion. "and I wish to God that I had just come back to your place last night and explained everything, but this can't wait a second longer. Please come with me to my office."

Emily had no clue what Hotch meant by what he had said. She couldn't possibly understand how Hotch could know if he was the father or not. It had been a hell of a morning already and everything along with Morgan's interrogation, she was beginning to get frustrated. "Aaron" she said, raising her voice as Hotch cast an eye over the bullpen area while being stunned by Emily speaking his forename. Shocked by her own actions, Emily spoke softer. "I assume that you told Morgan that you're the father just to take up for me."

"No, actually there's more to it than that" he said, lowering his eyes to the floor.

"So you are standing here trying to tell me that you are the father of my baby?" she asked as her heart began to pound in her chest.

"Yes, not officially, but yes." he replied. "I know it doesn't make sense to you right now, but if you will just come in the office, I will explain."

"Just tell me right here." she pushed.

"Emily, why do you not want to go in my office?" he asked with a raised brow.

"It's not that. I just don't see why you can't tell me right here." she told him with an impatient tone.

"Don't you think enough of our lives have been exposed today?" he said, taking her arm lightly and moving toward the steps leading to his office. Emily reluctantly walked with Hotch, pulling her arm from his, concerned about the other agents standing nearby. As they entered the office, Hotch closed the door and locked it. He didn't want to assume that either of them would need the door locked, but if time led them to where Hotch was hoping it would, he didn't want to have to worry about anyone walking in. He had just recently found out, though not officially, that he was the father of Emily's child. Though he knew that Emily would rather the baby's father be him contrary to Garrett, but he didn't know wholeheartedly if she would be happy that the little one was his.

Emily turned to Hotch after walking into his office. "Alright Aaron, tell me what's going on" she said firmly.

Hotch walked toward the couch, taking Emily's hand, guiding her with him. "Please sit down." Taking a seat on the couch, Emily watched Hotch's face as he sat beside her. Turning to Emily, placing his hand on hers, Hotch began to tell Emily what happened. "To make a long story short…" he began as Emily stopped him.

"No, I wanna know everything Aaron. I wanna know what the hell happened last night." she told him.

"Okay… I went to the bar last night to find Garrett. The bartender pointed him out to me and I then used a ruse to get him outside. I was angry to say the least. I roughed him up a little…" he told her, as she gave him a look of suspicion. "…okay a lot. I hit him a few times and he got a couple of punches in before I got through with him."

Still tangled up in the conversation, Emily wanted to get to the end of this. "And how did that help you to come to the conclusion that you are the father?"

"I hounded him for the truth; nearly beat it out of him, before he blurted out to me that he had a vasectomy five years ago" he said, watching her facial expression turn from confusion to shock in an instant.

Emily stood up from the couch and began to pace. Turning to Hotch, who was still sitting on the couch, she began. "So we're just gonna take this asshole's word for it?"

Hotch stood up and walked to Emily, who now seemed panicky. Hotch took her by the shoulders, stopping her movements. "Emily…" he tried, as Emily pulled herself from his hands, walking toward his office door. "Emily, I believe him. The way that he said it let me know he was telling the truth." he assured her.

"You believe him because you want to believe him?" she asked, causing a hurtful look from Hotch. "I'm sorry Hotch, I can't carry this baby for seven more months just wondering if I'm carrying your baby or a rapist's baby."

"Emily, just calm down okay?" he said, taking her in his arms, running his fingers through her hair. He took a deep breath as tears filled his eyes. Still holding her, he spoke softly. "Yes, I want to believe it is the truth. I want so badly to believe him" he told her as he un-wrapped his arms from her, taking her face in his hands and looking into her eyes. "I believe he was telling the truth. I really do."

Emily hung her head as tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I'm sorry; this is just so much to take in right now." she admitted.

"I know Emily and I'm sorry. We'll get through this. I'm here okay? And I'm not leaving." he said, trying to hold back the tears, wanting to be strong for her. She needed him and he loved that she did, but not the situation. "I'm taking you home. The rest of the team can handle this case." he told her confidently.

"No…I'm going home alone" she said as she walked to the door once again, prompting Hotch to reach for her arm.

"Em'ly" his voice breaking. "Please let me drive you home." he begged.

"No Aaron. I will call you alright? I promise." she said.

Feeling an ache in his chest, he decided to let her go. "Alright" he said, feeling the lump in his throat. "I'll be waiting."

She unlocked the door and turned the knob, before turning around to look at Hotch with a look of sincerity. "Aaron….I wanna believe him too." she said, then opening the door and leaving his office, closing the door gently behind her. She felt her legs shaking as she started the walk to her desk. All she wanted to do was let him take her home and just hold her, but she needed this time alone to think.

Hotch moved to his office window trying to compose himself. He gazed through his office blinds taking in Emily's beauty as she began to walk down the steps to the bullpen. He inhaled a breath quickly as he saw Emily begin to grip the railing tightly. He ran quickly to his office door and jerked it open, hoping to catch up with her. Not reaching Emily quick enough, his heart painfully throbbed in his chest as he saw Emily fall to the bottom of the steps.


End file.
